The idea that Mario Balotelli was pinning his hopes of salvation on the Manchester City chaplain was fascinating. Unfortunately, the power of prayer does not appear to have worked. Not surprising, really, since the club do not employ an exorcist.
The Italian footballer’s antics have undeniably been a test of faith for Roberto Mancini. In the two-and-a-half years since he brought the talented but unreliable Balotelli to these shores, there have been flickers of brilliance that made his transgressions and controversies seem bearable.
But as the goals have disappeared, the troubles have stayed constant. Maybe Mancini still prays for the gift of wisdom to be bestowed on his prodigal son. Maybe he harbours a faint belief that one day he will just grow up. Or maybe Mancini realises by now he is never going to cast out Balotelli’s demons.
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Mancini said: ‘I will give him another 100 chances if I think he can change. I am here for this.’
He had seen his authority challenged, he had been embarrassed by pictures of their spat appearing in the world’s media, he had been criticised for flying off the handle in response, yet he appeared to be relaying a message of ‘love thy neighbour’ to the world.
It was touching. It was compassionate. And it was all a front. The Christian doctrine is built on the belief of an all-forgiving, unqualified love for one’s fellow man — unless that man repeatedly proves to be a total moron, of course. Then you can ditch them without a backward glance and God will understand.
Balotelli, for all his natural gifts, is undoubtedly the sort of reckless, unthinking dolt with anger management issues that would compel the Pope to swear the wrong kind of oath.
Mancini has decided it is over and there will be no more absolution from on high. Not after the player broke football’s First Commandment — ‘Thou Shalt Not Attack Thy Manager’.
The peculiar thing is that Balotelli genuinely does not appear to have any concept of right or wrong. Moreover, he lacks the intelligence to learn the difference.
Basic tasks are beyond him. He is unable to use a satellite navigation system — and so pays to follow a taxi to London instead. I’ve seen him struggle to put on a simple training bib as if he were Houdini wrestling with chains. I have watched a video of him trying — and failing — to wrap a Christmas present. At one point, Carlos Tevez says: ‘No wonder people think you are daft.’
Rare: The goals have dried up for Balotelli and he is more prone to fighting with his boss DM.has('rcp',"twitter"); Loading tweets...His former manager Jose Mourinho said: ‘Balotelli has one brain cell’, and, sadly, this is pre- occupied with itself. He storms off in a sulk when substituted. He takes his own club to a tribunal. He hurls darts at the youth team and lets off fireworks in his bathroom. The lad can play. But he cannot think. His time is up.
In the summer I clashed with a pundit who purports to know Balotelli. The chap was incensed to hear me describe the player as a liability and blustered that I could not have been paying attention.
Balotelli was playing well at Euro 2012 after coach Cesare Prandelli warned: ‘It is a time for Mario to be written about for what he does on the pitch and not what he has done off it.’ The threat had a galvanising effect and Balotelli responded, particularly against Germany. But I said it wouldn’t last — and it hasn’t. It never does with him. Balotelli will always let himself or his club down.
Mancini cannot say any of this in public, of course. National coaches like Prandelli do not concern themselves with transfer values. Club bosses must, as the City boss indicated earlier in the week: ‘We need to realise Mario was signed as a major investment and this is not a club that throws its capital through the window.’
But Mancini can see the title is in danger of going through the window.
So while it would be lovely to believe this redemption story will have a happy ending, Mancini’s faith is exhausted.
Why tolerate Balotelli’s devilment if it means damnation for them both?
What is Frankie doing on a TV freak show?As if being caught snorting cocaine wasn’t bad enough for Frankie Dettori’s career, he has now succumbed to the indignity of the Celebrity Big Brother house.
I can’t imagine the banned rider needs the money. We are told a portion of the hefty appearance fee will go to charity, as if that were an excuse, but it is surely not his motivation. Maybe he just likes the fame?
He could regret that fascination. His career is at a tipping point and the experience of the last (and only) racing figure to wander into the CBB house is hardly cause for optimism.
Really, Frankie: Dettori has entered the CBB housePundit John McCririck was filmed picking his nose, having a strop when he couldn’t have Coke (the drink), and parading around in underwear that would most certainly frighten the horses.
Now Dettori has been shoved in with a weird-looking X Factor winner destined for Pontin’s next year, an actress from Heartbeat I didn’t recognise and one from Neighbours I will never know.
Drug addict and ‘former model’ Paula Hamilton is also part of the cast. Sadly, these days she only has her photo taken when she crashes her car. Looking at her now, I assume the vehicle doesn’t have a working airbag. She is a walking lesson to Dettori on the dangers of drugs.
Doughnut aficionado Claire from Steps is inside (slow Steps, these days, especially if they are stairs), along with two unknown reality-show Americans, and the undeniably entertaining heavyweight ex-footballer Neil Ruddock.
Former EastEnders actress Gillian Taylforth is too, but since she hasn’t worked for a few years and is best remembered for an unfortunate incident in a lay-by, who could blame her for taking the cheque?
Then an actor from a TV show called Beaver Falls arrived with a Page Three model named Lacey Banghard and I spent hours wrestling with questions of taste that eventually prevented me from using these names to make a series of cheap remarks that may or may not have involved Taylforth. I decided it was beneath me. And you. Just as this pointless programme is beneath one of the great jockeys of the modern era.
Whatever his mistake with drugs, Dettori is a sportsman who has won 14 British Classics. He is often cheery, sometimes not, and CBB will test his volatile temperament. Which makes it all the more baffling to see him involved. The jockey said he was ‘ashamed and embarrassed’ after failing a drug test. I hope he is not repeating those words after a few days on this freak show.
Lampard's exit is baffling
Frank Lampard has been a wonderful player for Chelsea — and still is — which makes the news that he is being forced out in the summer all the more mystifying.
Lampard has performed with distinction throughout and has medals galore to show for it, but skipper John Terry wants to go a stage further and ‘retire’ his No 8 shirt in tribute.
It’s a sentimental thought. But it’s a meaningless, mawkish irrelevance borrowed from American sport.
All smiles: Frank Lampard (right) will leave Chelsea in the summer when his contract expiresThe appropriate manner in which Chelsea could have paid Lampard the respect he deserves would have been to avoid bungling his exit with unseemly squabbles and endless leaks, and open proper lines of communication from the hierarchy to the player about his future.
Unfortunately, his departure has been messy and mismanaged, a familiar story at Stamford Bridge of late. Hanging up a jersey won’t make amends for that.
How dare they celebrate?
Martin Jol complained that the Fulham squad’s precious sleep was disrupted by a late-night firework display before their game at West Brom. ‘It’s annoying,’ he said. ‘We needed a quiet hotel.’
One can understand Jol’s impatience. Imagine the inconvenience. His team had booked into a city-centre hotel only to find the Birmingham public had the cheek to celebrate the turn of the new year. Shh! Doesn’t anyone have any consideration for our footballers?
Don’t walk into chaosAC Milan players walked off the pitch when they were racially abused during a pre-season friendly against the Italian fourth division side Aurora Pro Patria.
The name might have provided something of a clue, since it translates as ‘For the Fatherland’. This doesn’t sound like an outfit seeking sponsorship from Benetton.
Kevin-Prince Boateng led the protest midway through the first half when the Serie A team’s black players were subjected to racist abuse and with that act did more in the space of 26 minutes to directly tackle racism than UEFA or FIFA have in as many years.
Furious: Kevin-Prince Boateng gestures to the crowd as the AC Milan midfielder leaves the fieldNobody should have to put up with the utter idiocy of racial abuse while going about their work and I’d be quite happy to see an England side leave the field if they ever have to endure the kind of barbaric nonsense witnessed in Serbia recently.
But it’s never that simple. Milan’s stance will shame the authorities into stronger action, we were told. And it should. This will pave the way for similar action in games that matter, others predicted. And it might.
However, football being what it is, I wonder how long it will be before some bright spark uses it as a tactic? I can see a losing team quitting the field of play claiming to have heard racist abuse and then all sorts of muddles present themselves. These flare-ups do happen. Just ask Mark Clattenburg.
For instance, what if AC Milan are a goal down against Inter at the San Siro with a few minutes to go and they disappear from the field claiming one of their players was racially abused?
No regrets: Boateng has said he will walk off during a Champions League match if he is racially abused againThe way to deal with racism is for a referee to lead the players off when it is heard and for those responsible to be subsequently punished by law.
We can all applaud the players taking matters into their own hands in a friendly game. But looking for sense amid the thunder of a Champions League semi-final and a storm of disputed claims is another matter entirely. The only winners on that occasion will be M’learned friends in the legal profession.
Turkish ad hits the spot
The Turkish Airlines television advertisement starring Lionel Messi and Kobe Bryant is rightly being hailed as a coup. One of my colleagues pointed out this week it has already been viewed by more than 60million on YouTube. Sports marketing obviously works as the only time I previously noticed Turkish Airlines was when I spotted an aircraft of theirs at Heathrow. It was the one with hair under its wings.
VIDEO: Lionel Messi and Kobe Bryant star in ad
More... EXCLUSIVE: Balotelli seeking help from club chaplain in fight to save Man City career after training-ground scrap with Mancini Balotelli escapes punishment for training ground bust-up as Mancini says he will give striker '100 chances to change' City 0 United 1 (Balotelli OG): Mancini's in a mood, Fergie's finding it funny... and it's all down to one man!
